Things I've Been Thinking

I honestly can't tell you the last time I had this much time on my hands. It's quite wonderful. More like fantastic, really.

But since I've had so much free time lately, my mind has started to wander. Some things are rather inappropriate (totally kidding. Well, not really--see picture below.) And some things are just completely mind boggling. So.....I've decided to give everyone a rare glimpse into the inner workings of my brain. Ladies and gentlemen.....prepare yourselves. It's about to get messy.

1) First things first: How in the WORLD is Kim Kardashian's ass THAT big? I mean....don't get me wrong. I love to eat. But seriously?? Did you see one of the recent episodes? Her butt was so big it got stuck in Mason's toy house. How is that even possible? I could have breakfast on that thing. And lunch AND dinner. Just let that sink in for a moment.

(I actually had the liberty of seeing this article in the magazine and HOLY TOLITO. It was just like a bad car wreck. I didn't want to look, but I just COULDN'T take my eyes off of it. See....you're still staring. And now you know what I'm talking about.)

2) Jason Bateman--seriously. This man is very quickly climbing to the top of my list of sexy sexy men. You may recognize him from movies such as Hancock, Couples Retreat, and his most recent endeavor, Horrible Bosses. He seems to be a man of somewhat small stature, but still, as Sue and I like to say, "He could eat crackers in my bed." (If you don't understand this, I'll tell you when you're older.)

3) Emma Stone--For the love of LORD will someone PLEASE explain to me how this girl is making out eith EVERY SINGLE smokin' hot boy these days. I find this chick highly hilarious (my favorite movie of hers being Easy A--I think I actually blew Sprite out my nose while watching this in the airport) and she's pretty in a weird sort of ginger-looking kind of way (don't judge me). But SERIOUSLY. She has been in 3 of the last 95 movies I've watched (I haven't really watched that many), but every time she's lockin' lips with the cutie pie. And now, I shall name them:

Ryan Gosling

This little smile would have me eating out of the palm of his hand. That Rachel McAdams is an IDIOT.

 

Chris Lowell

(You may have seen him on Private Practice)

Is it hot in here? Or is it just him?

Andy Samberg

He could stand to get in a fight with some hair clippers these days, but check out this old pic I found. Doesn't clean up too bad, eh?

4) Who ever decided we needed a big meal to celebrate the holidays? Oh wait. Jesus did. Dammit. (Proceed to #5.)

5) Who was the producer behind the new MTV show 'Friend Zone' and WHAT was he thinking? I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. You have to. It is the most awkward 30 minutes of my life (besides watching The Virgin Diaries on TLC--also another HIGHLY entertaining show if you need something to feel better about your life). But seriously. I start sweating for these people just thinking about it. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's a show designed to give people the balls to finally confront their best friends about their feelings and come out of the friend zone. The first episode I watched, the lovers were 0 for 4. Now.......I've never been very good with math, but.....I'm pretty sure.......that's not good.

Alright. That's enough of my conventional wisdom for one evening. I still have two and a half weeks before classes start up again so there's BOUND to be more intelligence leaking out of my brain. Stay tuned!

JS